Compromises at Play

I thinking about my life the other day... I'm 27 years old, I have no career, no husband, no family. I still live in Odomville in a trailer home. Don't get me wrong, I (kinda) like where I am in my life right.

I'm getting to the point where I really enjoy having my nieces and nephews with me, doing stuff with them, but I also really enjoy alone and quiet time. I like being at home, able to care for my Grandpa and still able to be more involved with my critters. (By the way, I had my first chick hatch yesterday morning.)

My life is...mostly...the affects of my choices and I have made one compromise after another. At the beginning of my freshman year in High School, obviously, I made a decision to be put on the "college bound" trek of studies, instead of main stream or home/work program. I went all through High School taking accelerated classes, as many AP classes as were available to me. I partly blame myself, but I do have to say I didn't get much, in fact none at all, guidance from the guidance cousiler.

By the last semester in my senior year, I knew I wasn't going right on into college. Bummer... I started babysitting/nannying the first year out of high school, thinking it'd be a nice little money making thing to do while I took classes in Woodville or Jasper through Angelina. I actually signed up for three classes. All three were cancelled due to not enough people attending... "Hhmmm, maybe I'm not supposed to start school right now," I thought to myself, so I let it go, for now.

By the summer after graduating, I started full time at Dickerson Hospital in Jasper, working nights, thinking I would take some night classes and then be able to go straight to my night shift. I was misadvised about the SAT/ACT thing and didn't even sign up. I worked 5 1/2 years there and eventually made my way over to Texas Home Health... Eeerrrr, not even going there... I was there two years thinking the same thing. I could work my 8am - 5pm, Mon - Fri schedule, hang around for an hour or two and then go to classes... Never did!

One compromise after another.

And I was thinking while I was playing my most favoritest :) game ever, The Sims 2. I have a character, Allegra, that I play with. She was going to college, but met Emery and he wanted to get married. His lifetime aspiriation was to 6 grandkids, he needed to get started on his family soon. So, she quit college and got married. Her lifetime aspiration was to be an Education Minister, but because funds were low and they couple had a baby on the way, she had to find work. So, she became a Natural Scientist. Good money, good hours - each allowed her to help with the bills, etc and left plenty of time to have babies and help Emery fulfill his aspiration.

Next thing you know, though, she six days from becoming an elder and she's not an Education Minister and when you become an elder you can only go so high in the career tracks.

By having three children and eventually they having two each, Emery fulfilled his aspiration and would remain in Platinum (highest "happy" color) until the day he died. But that left Allegra struggling in orange and green, (#2 and #3 happy colors) and sometimes red (bad, lowest color). Allegra was left to constantly find little things that would make her happy. In retirement she learned to enjoy sewing and pottery and to keep herself happy could often be found in her craft room, sewing or sculpting a project. She died happy, but had to work at it. Where, if she stayed in college, put off her family for a bit to find THE job, she would be happy forever, like her husband Emery.

Even in games, we make compromises! Games... One or two little choices can and will change the whole course of our lives. The outcome of our game.

I heard a quote the other day "Work today for what or where you want to be tomorrow."

This Fall I will sign up for ONE class through Angelina in Jasper. Not much, but I'm going to start working on today for what I want tomorrow - to be a teacher.

No more compromises... I'm in this life, so far, for me. I'm going to start taking care of me. Thinking of me first. Wondering what I will think if I do or don't do this.

'Bout time me!