THE key to a successful marriage?
In the 4 1/2 months I've been married to my Samoan Superman I've learned that clear and honest communication is THE key.
After continually builing our personal relationships with the Lord, building our relationships with our spouses is next in line.
Let me ask a question: If you and your partner were able to have sex, but were ordered not to, would your relationship last? Is your marriage founded on sex? Do you find that there is more contention between you when sex is few and far between, or non existent?
This is not a healthy relationship.
Draw a triangle. In the triangle draw some horizontal lines. In this spaces write what you know is the foundation of a healthy relationship and as you go higher the priority is less. Be honest. Don't write what you know, not what you feel or what your relationship has prioritized things.
Now, cut these strips and now arrange them how your marriage is, turning the pieces upside down. If your marriages is (pretty much) based on sex, place that strip of paper on the bottom and work your way up. Is your triangle wobbly, out of balance?
Fix it.
How?
Communicate honestly and clearly with your spouse. And work. I've learned that a marriage requires daily, hourly, minute-by-minutes, and second-by-second maintainance (I don't think I spelt that right).
When you're not with your spouse how can you maintain? Thoughts play a HUGE role. Don't let your mind wonder from your partner. Honor those covenants you made in your mind, too. Anything that drives your thoughts to "someone else" needs to go.
Do the opinions of other's do that? They can!
Talk to your sweety. Keep your sweety your sweety!
Choose your love. Love your choice.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Double Date
Ava and I have been asked to join a sweet couple for dinner this Thursday night! Our first group date as a married couple!
I've always loved this young man who has invited us. He's always been super sweet and very thoughtful. And now as our Branch's second councilor, he has become a humble man and a great teacher. His sweet wife is... super sweet! I love her so much!
I'm so excited to spend an evening with them and their glorious children!
I've always loved this young man who has invited us. He's always been super sweet and very thoughtful. And now as our Branch's second councilor, he has become a humble man and a great teacher. His sweet wife is... super sweet! I love her so much!
I'm so excited to spend an evening with them and their glorious children!
Gratitude
We had our High Councilman from Buna to come speak to our Branch this past Sunday. Wow, did I ever need that! Brother Peterson (who reminded me of a young Pres. Eyring) spoke about gratitude. He gave many awesome quotes and humble stories of his humble missionary experiences in Russia.
What stuck out the most was his account of the Brother of Jared. In Ether 6 starting with verse 5 Moroni writes, "...that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land..."
Verse 6 says, "...mountain waves which broke upon them,...great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fiercesness of the wind."
Then Verse 8 says, "...the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land...they were driven forth before the wind."
Verses 6 and 7 tells us of the very trying experiences and hardships of their travels because of the wind. But in Verses 5 and 8 Moroni tells us that the Lord provided this great wind.
Why were they so tried? Why was their journey so hard? The were uncomfortable. The very thing that brought them to the promised land, was the very thing that gave them so much trouble. Or what they thought was trouble. They were just stretched a bit.
We humans have selfishness issues!
This is the WHY of why we need to be thankful for our trials. Not because they're hard and it humbles us and we can learn from them. That's great, but we need to be thankful because they were given to us by the Lord. Sometimes remembering that is really difficult.
What just makes me cry, continuing with story starts in Verse 9. "...they did sing praises,...he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord."
Verse 10 just slaps me in the face. Sometimes its the blessing we're given that we don't see that can get us in trouble. Because we're so ME focused. It says, "...they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above water or under the water."
Verse 11: "And thus they were driven forth..."
Verse 12: "And they did land upon the shore of the promised land." They were driven so hard and so fast BECAUSE they were righteous. They reached the promised land and obtained their blessings that much faster. What if they hadn't been so righteous? There could have been the best seas ever, but instead of taking 344 days, it could have been 688 or more days!
"And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord..."
"...because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them."
We can liken this experience to our lives. Our trials are quickly preparing us to receive blessings from our loving Father in Heaven. Blessings that could be held from us if we choose unrighteousness.
I need to remember these monsters of the sea that are being held back by the Lord so that these great tempests can carry me to my promised land faster. Isn't that what we all want? To be blessed NOW! Well, let the Lord bless you... NOW!
Endure the waves!
Enjoy the Journey!
What stuck out the most was his account of the Brother of Jared. In Ether 6 starting with verse 5 Moroni writes, "...that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land..."
Verse 6 says, "...mountain waves which broke upon them,...great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fiercesness of the wind."
Then Verse 8 says, "...the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land...they were driven forth before the wind."
Verses 6 and 7 tells us of the very trying experiences and hardships of their travels because of the wind. But in Verses 5 and 8 Moroni tells us that the Lord provided this great wind.
Why were they so tried? Why was their journey so hard? The were uncomfortable. The very thing that brought them to the promised land, was the very thing that gave them so much trouble. Or what they thought was trouble. They were just stretched a bit.
We humans have selfishness issues!
This is the WHY of why we need to be thankful for our trials. Not because they're hard and it humbles us and we can learn from them. That's great, but we need to be thankful because they were given to us by the Lord. Sometimes remembering that is really difficult.
What just makes me cry, continuing with story starts in Verse 9. "...they did sing praises,...he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord."
Verse 10 just slaps me in the face. Sometimes its the blessing we're given that we don't see that can get us in trouble. Because we're so ME focused. It says, "...they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above water or under the water."
Verse 11: "And thus they were driven forth..."
Verse 12: "And they did land upon the shore of the promised land." They were driven so hard and so fast BECAUSE they were righteous. They reached the promised land and obtained their blessings that much faster. What if they hadn't been so righteous? There could have been the best seas ever, but instead of taking 344 days, it could have been 688 or more days!
"And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord..."
"...because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them."
We can liken this experience to our lives. Our trials are quickly preparing us to receive blessings from our loving Father in Heaven. Blessings that could be held from us if we choose unrighteousness.
I need to remember these monsters of the sea that are being held back by the Lord so that these great tempests can carry me to my promised land faster. Isn't that what we all want? To be blessed NOW! Well, let the Lord bless you... NOW!
Endure the waves!
Enjoy the Journey!
On The Outside
I feel like I've always had the bad habit of comparing the progression of my life to the progession of other's lives.
I remember in 3rd grade, specifically, that multiplication wasn't clicking as fast as my classmates. Our teacher would play this Around the World game that pinned one classmate against the other and compared how fast you could give the answer to a random problem she gave. If student one and student two were up, who ever could give the correct answer first and would move on to student 3. The way to win the game was who ever made it around the world and back to their seat first won.
I maybe moved over one or two seats ever. Why couldn't I think as quickly as others. I knew my facts, I just couldn't get it out quick enough. It really made me very self-conscience.
In junior high all the girls had boyfriends. I didn't. In high school everyone seemed to advance quicker than me. I worked so hard to get the grades that I did, while it seemed others flew past me.
The harder part for me happened when my siblings and I started graduating. I've wanted nothing more than to get married right away, start my family, and sit in rocking chairs on the front porch with my husband in our old age, surrounded by our grandchildren. (Very cliche', sorry!)
I have no personal jealousy issues with anyone. And I wouldn't trade lives with them. (This may not make sense to you.) But I do have really bad jealousy issues with those who progress faster in the things I want.
Things got really bad when my siblings started to get married, then even worse when they started having their children. Like I said, I have no personal jealousy with them and I wouldn't trade my lives for theirs.
I am so thankful for my dear husband! Not a day goes by that I am not humbled to tears (literally, every. single. day.) that the Lord has blessed me with such a perfect fit. (Plus, he's such a hunk!)
You know when you want something you notice it EVERYWHERE?!
Everyone around me is having babies!
I've had two miscarriages. Then, two menstral cycles. Torture!
I've always lived my life in such a way that would allow the Lord the bless me without saying something like, "I'm going to keep this blessing from you because you did 'this'."
It seems that those who don't even try to do the right thing get blessed and are not thankful at all. They even complain about their "mess." Honey, I'd love your "mess!"
C.S. Lewis said something like, "Comparison is the thief of joy."
Amen, brother.
I need to stop it!
I remember in 3rd grade, specifically, that multiplication wasn't clicking as fast as my classmates. Our teacher would play this Around the World game that pinned one classmate against the other and compared how fast you could give the answer to a random problem she gave. If student one and student two were up, who ever could give the correct answer first and would move on to student 3. The way to win the game was who ever made it around the world and back to their seat first won.
I maybe moved over one or two seats ever. Why couldn't I think as quickly as others. I knew my facts, I just couldn't get it out quick enough. It really made me very self-conscience.
In junior high all the girls had boyfriends. I didn't. In high school everyone seemed to advance quicker than me. I worked so hard to get the grades that I did, while it seemed others flew past me.
The harder part for me happened when my siblings and I started graduating. I've wanted nothing more than to get married right away, start my family, and sit in rocking chairs on the front porch with my husband in our old age, surrounded by our grandchildren. (Very cliche', sorry!)
I have no personal jealousy issues with anyone. And I wouldn't trade lives with them. (This may not make sense to you.) But I do have really bad jealousy issues with those who progress faster in the things I want.
Things got really bad when my siblings started to get married, then even worse when they started having their children. Like I said, I have no personal jealousy with them and I wouldn't trade my lives for theirs.
I am so thankful for my dear husband! Not a day goes by that I am not humbled to tears (literally, every. single. day.) that the Lord has blessed me with such a perfect fit. (Plus, he's such a hunk!)
You know when you want something you notice it EVERYWHERE?!
Everyone around me is having babies!
I've had two miscarriages. Then, two menstral cycles. Torture!
I've always lived my life in such a way that would allow the Lord the bless me without saying something like, "I'm going to keep this blessing from you because you did 'this'."
It seems that those who don't even try to do the right thing get blessed and are not thankful at all. They even complain about their "mess." Honey, I'd love your "mess!"
C.S. Lewis said something like, "Comparison is the thief of joy."
Amen, brother.
I need to stop it!
Friday, October 4, 2013
So, Get Off Your Ath, Lets Do Some Math!
* Disclaimer: Excuse the Mormon cussing in the title *
I had my first teaching experience yesterday! At the end of my Fundamentals of Math class our teacher told us about a problem one of my fellow students had come upon while taking one of our reviews tests online. He told us that this student couldn't figure it out and that he didn't remember teaching anything about it in class and he didn't remember seeing anything in the book that taught this concept. I, too, came upon this question and felt it was one of the easier problems. And, further more, he had taught this concept and it was in the book, as well.
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And, I'm paraphrasing, it said:
All libraries have between 50 and 250 books. How many libraries will you have to visit to find that at least two of those libraries will have the same number of book?
Can you get it?
Since this is Fundamentals of Math, we have been asked to solve these problems like a 3rd - 7th grader would. We can draw pictures, draw a table, guess and check, etc. I drew a table. (I hope BlogSpot keeps my table fairly correct)
Books in the Library: Libraries visited:
50 1
51 2
52 3
53 4
. .
. .
. .
250 201
Assuming, and you have to assume this, that you went to 201 libraries and each one had a different number of books. The first library you visited at 50 books, the second library you visited had 51 books, the 201st library you visited at 250. That would mean that the 202nd library you visited HAD to have the same number of books on one of the previous.
Answer: 202
I had my first teaching experience yesterday! At the end of my Fundamentals of Math class our teacher told us about a problem one of my fellow students had come upon while taking one of our reviews tests online. He told us that this student couldn't figure it out and that he didn't remember teaching anything about it in class and he didn't remember seeing anything in the book that taught this concept. I, too, came upon this question and felt it was one of the easier problems. And, further more, he had taught this concept and it was in the book, as well.
.png)
And, I'm paraphrasing, it said:
All libraries have between 50 and 250 books. How many libraries will you have to visit to find that at least two of those libraries will have the same number of book?
Can you get it?
Since this is Fundamentals of Math, we have been asked to solve these problems like a 3rd - 7th grader would. We can draw pictures, draw a table, guess and check, etc. I drew a table. (I hope BlogSpot keeps my table fairly correct)
Books in the Library: Libraries visited:
50 1
51 2
52 3
53 4
. .
. .
. .
250 201
Assuming, and you have to assume this, that you went to 201 libraries and each one had a different number of books. The first library you visited at 50 books, the second library you visited had 51 books, the 201st library you visited at 250. That would mean that the 202nd library you visited HAD to have the same number of books on one of the previous.
Answer: 202
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Elijah
I've come to the conclusion that Ava's calling in the Family History Center was actually for me!
A doctor I worked with at Dickerson Memorial Hospital passed away at the end of November 2010. Since I found this out he has kind of been on my mind. I told myself that I would eventually gather his information and go to the Temple and have his work done. Never felt any real excitement or urgency there. I did feel, though, that this alone was not enough. And (stupidly) didn't know any more to do.
I was telling the history to someone about the abandoned hospital in Jasper that Dr. Joe founded and named for his late wife, Mary E. Dickerson. Then it hit me! SHE wanted THEIR work done!!
She wanted to have their work done so THEY COULD BE SEALED! When this little beauty of a fact hit me I immediately felt excited and anxious and rushed!!
This was a Tuesday (a week ago). I told Ava that I was going to stop by the FHC right after school and find the information I needed to prepare their names for the Temple!
My sweet hubby met me there and within 15 minutes we had all the information we needed! I drove to Mom's house and there we put it all on the Temple Ready program and printed out what we needed to hand to the Temple workers!
Once that was done the rushed feeling eased somewhat. I wake every morning with the thought of skipping school and taking these two sweet names to the Temple. Ava and I are going with the Youth to the Temple in a week and a half. Their work will be done then.
Dr. Joe, I love you and miss you. Mrs. Dickerson, I've never met you, but your husband spoke of you often and reverently. Don't worry. You're ordinances will be done very soon.
Thank you (Spirit of) Elijah. Thank you.
A doctor I worked with at Dickerson Memorial Hospital passed away at the end of November 2010. Since I found this out he has kind of been on my mind. I told myself that I would eventually gather his information and go to the Temple and have his work done. Never felt any real excitement or urgency there. I did feel, though, that this alone was not enough. And (stupidly) didn't know any more to do.
I was telling the history to someone about the abandoned hospital in Jasper that Dr. Joe founded and named for his late wife, Mary E. Dickerson. Then it hit me! SHE wanted THEIR work done!!
She wanted to have their work done so THEY COULD BE SEALED! When this little beauty of a fact hit me I immediately felt excited and anxious and rushed!!
This was a Tuesday (a week ago). I told Ava that I was going to stop by the FHC right after school and find the information I needed to prepare their names for the Temple!
My sweet hubby met me there and within 15 minutes we had all the information we needed! I drove to Mom's house and there we put it all on the Temple Ready program and printed out what we needed to hand to the Temple workers!
Once that was done the rushed feeling eased somewhat. I wake every morning with the thought of skipping school and taking these two sweet names to the Temple. Ava and I are going with the Youth to the Temple in a week and a half. Their work will be done then.
Dr. Joe, I love you and miss you. Mrs. Dickerson, I've never met you, but your husband spoke of you often and reverently. Don't worry. You're ordinances will be done very soon.
Thank you (Spirit of) Elijah. Thank you.
Gorilla beringei
I first heard Bruno Mars' new song, Gorilla, at the... VMA's? When ever Miley Cyrus had her rockin' I'm-an-adult-now twerking performance. Yeah... Anyway, I wasn't really paying attention because I was reading my homework assignments. I really enjoyed the beats and the rhythm. I can appreciate some good music song writing.
Every day, well Monday through Thursday, anyway, I drive to Lufkin for school. That's a 2 hour drive every day. I listen to A LOT of radio. This song always comes on at around 7:30am, right before I get into Huntington. I found I really liked this song.
About a week ago, after doing much praying and pondering on a completely different subject, this song made me feel very uncomfortable and dirty. This song is about sex. There is nothing wrong with sex. Sex between a husband and a wife is beautiful and special. And its sacred. When Ava and I had our interview with our stake president for our Temple marriage he told us that marriage, the power to procreate, is putting on the path to "be Gods." (While receiving our endowments allows us to "be LIKE Gods.")
This spirit of this song is not sacred. It is pornography. This thoughts that came to my head were of my husband and I (I know... TMI, but bear with me) so how could it be wrong? But isn't that was an actual porn video can do? Get's my husband and me in "the mood?" (Note: we don't watch porn.) Isn't that what a good romance novel do? Is that pornography as well? I think so. I now know so.
I'm not being preachy. I simply want to share my new-found testimony of when the Strength of the Youth pamphlet advises the youth to be mindful of the music they listen to, the movies and TV shows they watch, and the materials they read, it is to protect them from evils.
Songs like these are gateways to bigger things. The house is sexual sin and provocative music, videos, and books are the thresh holds we need to pass through to get to those bigger sins.
Brothers and Sisters, be ever so mindful of the choices you make. Be mindful of those loose and flaxen chords of the devil Nephi talks about. Stay close to the spirit. Listen to him. Follow his promptings. Keep yourself worthy to enter into the Temple and partake of those awesome blessings!
Every day, well Monday through Thursday, anyway, I drive to Lufkin for school. That's a 2 hour drive every day. I listen to A LOT of radio. This song always comes on at around 7:30am, right before I get into Huntington. I found I really liked this song.
About a week ago, after doing much praying and pondering on a completely different subject, this song made me feel very uncomfortable and dirty. This song is about sex. There is nothing wrong with sex. Sex between a husband and a wife is beautiful and special. And its sacred. When Ava and I had our interview with our stake president for our Temple marriage he told us that marriage, the power to procreate, is putting on the path to "be Gods." (While receiving our endowments allows us to "be LIKE Gods.")
This spirit of this song is not sacred. It is pornography. This thoughts that came to my head were of my husband and I (I know... TMI, but bear with me) so how could it be wrong? But isn't that was an actual porn video can do? Get's my husband and me in "the mood?" (Note: we don't watch porn.) Isn't that what a good romance novel do? Is that pornography as well? I think so. I now know so.
I'm not being preachy. I simply want to share my new-found testimony of when the Strength of the Youth pamphlet advises the youth to be mindful of the music they listen to, the movies and TV shows they watch, and the materials they read, it is to protect them from evils.
Songs like these are gateways to bigger things. The house is sexual sin and provocative music, videos, and books are the thresh holds we need to pass through to get to those bigger sins.
Brothers and Sisters, be ever so mindful of the choices you make. Be mindful of those loose and flaxen chords of the devil Nephi talks about. Stay close to the spirit. Listen to him. Follow his promptings. Keep yourself worthy to enter into the Temple and partake of those awesome blessings!
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