An Evening (and the next morning) in Tears!

My Grandpa told me a story of an event that happened at his house Tuesday night that really hurt my feelings. (Without getting into details - it involved familia...) Turns out this certain member of the familia doesn't mind helping other memebers of the familia with Grandpa on their days. They have an issue with helping me on my days with Grandpa. They didn't come out and say it, but based on their words/actions in the past towards me and based on their words/actions Tuesday night - helping Grandpa isn't the problem - its helping me. So that had me feeling glorious.

Then it hit me - holy smokes, my baby brother will leave in 8 days (7 days today!) for his two year mission. I've been great until now. I KNOW I can and will survive without him, but... he's been such an awesome support to me these past several weeks. It'll be extremely difficult to send him off this next Thursday morning.

I failed my biology test! I studied! The teacher tells me, though, "So far, you've made the highest grade." AND?! I still failed... But it was A LOT of material and a LONG test. And of the four bonus essay questions, I answered two, and got full credit on those. 63 on the test. Seven points away from passing it. Thank goodness the lowest test grade is always dropped, right?

Then, because of that "issue" I mentioned on FaceBook, Ava and I have had to "behave" even more than we were already behaving. (And we were/are behaving still.) So, in my prayers, I've asked Heavenly Father to help us "behave" as we should. He had asked that I take off yesterday afternoon and evening to spend some time together and so I did.

Just to let you know, I am having to deal with a form of temptation that I have never, ever had to deal with before! Life, EVER! Thank goodness when I fall short, Ava is the strong one. And thank goodness when he falls short, I can be the strong one. I went into yesterday with full intentions to "behave" and...fell short. Or tried to... Again, thank goodness when I fall short, Ava is the strong one.

The evening was spectacular! It really was! We spent the first part of the evening running around town, doing his business and then we (meaning "he," really) washed/cleaned Mom's car, then we went back to his house. We talked and talked and talked. That's all we did! Just talked! But...to be honest, I felt like I needed more, and I left feeling unsatisfied... I thought to myself the whole way home "This is what you prayed for dummy! To stay away from temptation and because you didn't get all what you wanted, you're upset?"

I cannot wait for this "issue" to be resolved! Why is it taking so long? Why is it so difficult? Have I not been made to wait enough? Haven't I made the right choices in my life to be worthy of this blessing? Is this another test? Is this my trial in life - to wait? Am I/Are we going to have trouble having kids? -Because that's righteous desire we share! When can/will the things I REALLY want start to unfold easily?

Like Bro. Fruge' said in his fireside last Sunday, "You want a land of milk and honey? Be prepared to work for it!" Wow... I am so very thankful for what I've been blessed with. I am! I'm trying to "enjoy the journey" Mom, I really am! I'm trying to focus on the friendship side of our relationship right now, but I feel like I already KNOW him. I feel like we're already best friends. I feel like we've been friends longer than the time we've been been friends on this earth.

Please pray for me. Thinking about asking for a blessing... Again.

Family and Such

What a crazy emotional weekend! Full of good emotions and not so good emotions... Mostly good, though. But what's life without some "bad", right?

Sunday was Jarom's farwell Sacrament Meeting at church. He asked Sarah, Mom, and me to speak. Oh my goodness, I didn't cry "that much", BUUUT, I never was more choked up for such a long period of time. Like, really!

An extremely spiritual hour!

Then, that Sunday evening we had a fireside at the chapel and oh-ma-heck, could the day get any better? Bro. Fruge' did AWESOME! And, luckily, Ava was able to make it.

We had a wonderful, short time together and was able to spend about five minutes together afterward.

(*Just a side note: I am SO thankful for the RIGHTEOUS choices he's "having" to me for US - to keep us SAFE! Anyway...)

All day Monday was...HORRIBLE. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't focus. I couldn't work. I couldn't study. I couldn't do ANYTHING... I knew he was going to be super busy and didn't want to call him just to whine about how much he was on my mind and how much I missed him, but at around 6pm, I couldn't help myself - and, thankfully, he had just got home and started to relax some.

I was honest... I told him I missed him horribly and was an emotional wreck because of it. Then this sweet man tells me he had the same trouble ALL DAY! :') He couldn't sleep, so he went to work early (earlier than usual anyway) and couldn't hardly do one single simple task.

I love it when he tells me he thinks of me, but I love it even more when we feel the same thing at the same time(s).

Not that want him to "suffer", but its pretty flippin' awesome to hear that someone thinks of me and loves me. <3

Feeling... content.

MyFitnessPal

This program has become my new "pal."

I've been honest with myself as far as working out goes, but the food part has [always] been an issue for me. (The first step in recovery is to admit, right?!)

This program (myfitnesspal.com) can be run from your phone through an app or from the computer.

It's FREE!

It's EASY!

And...its working!

I can eat anything I want, but its making me accountable at the end of the day...or sooner. If I want a big bowl of cheese dip and chips for lunch - that's cool, but to make sure I don't go over my calories by the end of the day, I may have to have a salad for dinner.

You start by opening your profile - the usual stuff; profile name and password, name, age, gender. Then the "hard" part - your current weight, your goal weight, and then how many pounds you'd like to loose a week.

Most foods are already in their database, just look them up, adjust the servings, if needed, and click "add." If not, then you can scan the barcode on whatever it is you have and *BOOM* there it is! Beautiful!

Flight of Ideas - Emelie Style

I've felt a bit over whelmed the past three weeks are so...helping Ava with his legal stuff, trying to help his cousin with her driver's license issue, school, Grandpa, home stuff, church calling stuff, loosing weight, and family... just to name a few. But this morning I had a crazy moment where only about five of these things were able to make a complete and thorough thought.

1. It is ALMOST easier/better to exercise in the morning as it is to read/study the Scriptures and pray... Almost!

2. I REALLY L!O!V!E! my Samoan cowboy. Not that this isn't a known fact already. I was in town yesterday to get feed for my feathered and furry kiddos and my Fatu wanted to ride with me to do his running around. We went to the Tyco feed store to get something for Grandpa and he LOVED the store! I found a "I Love My Cowboy" picture frame and told him that I had some ideas. As we were walking out he said, "I like this store! We will be back!" Sweet!

3. I REALLY L!O!V!E! my Samoan!
a. He's a cutie
b. He's sweet
c. He's righteous
(Just to wrap it up, but these aren't all the reasons)
d. He "forgets" all the time to kiss me when we meet. He's a bit shy about PDAs, BUT we're in the parking lot a Wal-Mart and he's waiting for me as I lock up the vehicle and he says, "Oh! I forgot to give you something." Leans over and plants a big one! Yeah... Good times! Good times!

4. I had a dream Saturday night (and told him about it yesterday) that Jarom was coming home off of his mission and we were at the airport to pick him up. Our entire family was there. Ava and I were there with his kids and I had a child in my arms, who I assumed to be Lindon. We see Jarom coming and I say to this boy, "Look! There's Uncle Jay! See him?" I look at this boy and instantly recognize him as my son - our son. Emotional... Ava liked it!

5. Getting comments about how much weight I've lost is cool and having to buy smaller clothes is kind of cooler, but actually starting to LOOK different is even cooler! Like fer reelz! :D Happy today!

eye *heart* ewe

Have I mentioned lately that I am so in love with this guy?!

My poor mother hears this atleast 5,457,071,973 times a day...

But I do...

A Bit of Perspective

There was a CES Fireside this past Sunday that I am BEYOND grateful I attended! Lately, my [spiritual] goal has been to really try to listen to the Spirit and follow the Spirit. To be courageous. To be fearless. To not be ashamed. To not second guess.

This CES (and most/all) fireside was for 18-30 year old, married or not married. I was praying the Thursday night and Friday morning before this fireside about how I could help Ava. I wanted to lift him up, to encourage him, to let him know he can count on me, etc.

As I was walking with my Mom Friday evening and we discussing the plan for Sunday evening (rides, speakers, location, etc.) when Ava popped into my head. Nothing new, he tends to do that...often. But then the Spirit told me "Invite him." Okay, I will. Promise.

"Invite him now," the Spirit told me. I had just (like ten minutes previous) gotten off the phone with him and promised to call him after our walk, after I had helped Grandpa into bed, and after I had studied for school and done my nightly scripture study and prayer.

"Invite him now," I was told. So, I listened...and followed. No fear (never is when talking to my Fatu), no second guessing.

He immediately said he would want to go. Okay. Great. Why? "None of your business," is pretty much the response I got from the Spirit. Really, though, it wasn't like that. To be more honest and truthful it was more like, "Trust me."

The talk Pres. Holland gave was so good! Not that "I" felt Ava needed to hear that part. I did more than he. But when Pres. Holland gave those listening an Apostalic blessing... I felt like that was tailor made just specifically for Ava. Every word, every sentence, every paragraph.

So thankful for the Spirit's promptings...and for the ETERNAL perspective I've gained from heeding the promptings given to me. It is a sweet feeling to be used as an instrument by a loving Heavenly Father.

Contagious

Its hit me again... I guess I'm not taking enough Vitamin B (B for babysitting)! Hahahah... I am too funny!

And the cool part of this round of the Baby Fever is that its going to (eventually) happen. Like, real life happen. Not just a day dream! Sweet!

HURRY AVA! <3

The Forbidden Fruit

A topic that has been on my mind today as been temptation. For the past five months I've been dealing with a brand new form of temptation, one that I've NEVER had to confront before - EVER! And it gets a bit more complicated than just..."that."

I Have to Admit...

...That my Spanish class is so much flippin fun! Mr. Ditoro is an amazing Spanish teacher! Just sayin...

Adult Situations

You know that part near the end of that movie Juno where she walks in her home after learning that Mark and Vanessa are spliting up and her Dad askes her where she's been and she cleverly and some what casually retorts, "Dealing with things way beyond my maturity level."

That's how I've felt for the past three months-ish.

Not that I can't deal with it - I can (and I have been), I just feel like someone of, no necessarily my age, but someone with my certain life path shouldn't have to deal with... or help deal with!

Without giving further details - Ava... I love you so much and like you tell me all the time and now I'm going to tell you "I'm not going anywhere."

Cancelled Classes

Not many times do I rejoice in the cancelling of classes simply because of the crazy catching up that is needed to keep up with the school's testing schedule.

But not today...

On top of feeling "ONLY" 97.4% prepared for my speech I am so thankful that today's classes was cancelled. Thanks Mrs. S! Really...